I realized yesterday that I hadn’t read any of my other books for the RIP IV Challenge, and they all came due today, and I had to renew them by an unnecessarily complicated process because the library is also being fail lately. Anyway so I grabbed Let The Right One In (why is it called Let Me In on my copy?) to read it and I came to a realization.
I am just tired of vampires. I have had enough. There are vampires everywhere and it is too many vampires, and I need a break from them. But there is no break to be had because everywhere I go there are MORE VAMPIRES.
Er, I am going to see New Moon though. Although Edward will not be squatting on a tree branch looking like an albino chimpanzee, like he did in the film of Twilight, a major plot point in New Moon is how to stop him from committing suicide by public sparkling. It’s a race against time to stop the people of Rome from seeing his perfectly sculpted chest in all its ice-cold rock-hard sparkly glory. Plus I’m sort of excited about seeing Dakota Fanning be all evil, because I like her, and I strongly support her transition into adult actress, and I hope that she manages to pull it off like Natalie Portman, who went to college and speaks languages and supports microfinance. Rather than crashing and burning and being on drugs like many child stars.
But apart from that (they’re not real vampires if they sparkle) I am done. I cannot look at another vampire book or film. Let the Right One In was strange and creepy and may have been fascinating, but it didn’t matter because as soon as Eli glomped onto her victim and began biting his throat, I was all, I HAVE HAD IT. I CANNOT READ ABOUT VAMPIRES ANYMORE. I tried to keep reading but after a while I noticed that I was thinking, This is how the soldiers in World war I must have felt slogging through all the mud in the trenches and stuff, and although the soldiers in World War I probably would not appreciate this comparison, it was enough to make me realize that I didn’t want to finish the book. (Though that could also be attributable the pedophile, and the awful schoolchildren, and the slaughtery murders – I am willing to entertain the notion that this book is just too dark for me.)
World, look, I get it. Vampires are all strong and broody, and they are a metaphor for how sex = death, and you love them more than your mama right now. But don’t you see that you can’t have all vampires all the time? Please get sick of vampires soon and let go on a proper break from them and eventually come back from my break and enjoy Angel again! If the library hadn’t suddenly abandoned its hold system, I would cancel my hold on True Blood because actually, I am not in the mood for HBO (“Because We Can”) and their shenanigans, or for fakey Louisiana accents, or especially for any more damn vampires.
So no review is forthcoming for Let the Right One In. I am going to read Alias Grace and The Seance instead. I hate not finishing books, especially when I suspect it’s my fault, not the book’s fault. But I can’t finish it. I just can’t.
My plan for this autumn: Fewer vampires and more wholesome sunny football games. GLORIOUS. WE WILL WIN EVERYTHING.
Is this just me? Is anyone else tired of the vampires everywhere you turn? Also, if you do not live in America, is this vampire-mania the same in other places? Is Europe obsessed with vampires too? I will be very sad if so because that means I cannot escape by going on vacation to London.