Me: I came over to visit my schnooky puppy an’ snuddle her little puppy self and kiss her puppy nose.
Mumsy: Why are you like this?
Me: Oh, hey, Mumsy, you should do a guest review on my blog!
Mumsy: No.
Me: Yes! Mumsy, you should! What about all those reviews you do on GoodReads and LibraryThing? I could just–
Mumsy: No! They’re no good!
Me: Oh, Mumsy. The bar that has been set by me is oh so very very low.
Mumsy: Oh I don’t want to.
Me: Come on! It’ll be fun! I’ll be all, Heeeeeeere’s Mumsy! And that’ll be you, you’re Mumsy! I could post your review of the leper colony book.
Mumsy: Did you want to read that, by the way?
Me: No. I hate lepers.
Mumsy: *moment of thinking I’m serious*
Me: I’m going to talk baby talk to the puppy until you agree to do a guest review on my blog. Ready? Oh, she be a snuddly puppy, I puts her on my lap and I snuddles her affeshonately, cause she have a puppy face and she sniff me wid her puppy nose. She likes it when I rubs her belly meat. I sit wid the baby and I rub her belly meat cause that’s when she be happy. Oh she’s so–
Mumsy: I’m leaving.
Me: And I loves to scoop up the baby puppy – holy crap this dog is heavy – and follow my mommy around her house. Cause we likes our mommy, doesn’t we, baby puppy, cause she have pretty curly hair and she–
Mumsy: I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO MOVE AWAY.