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The Villette Readalong Staggers to Its Inevitably Irritating Conclusion

Yep, I screwed up the reading last weekend. I can only assumed I was blinded by rage when I approached the chapter numbers. Dr. John and Paulina did get engaged last time, and I just didn’t read that far. Whatever, you two. The fact that Dr. John pays court to Paulina by talking about how it felt when six-year-old her touched his cheek is yet another more way in which Victorians in general and Charlotte Bronte in particular are just SO FUCKING WEIRD.

Victorians got better late in the century which is one of many reasons why I’m an Oscar Wilde girl.

So M. Paul announces he’s leaving, and Lucy mopes around because he’s been really nice to her lately, but when everyone’s saying goodbye to him, she just lets Mme. Beck shove her to one side so M. Paul doesn’t even see she’s there. Lucy I guess does not know that a person can use her words to make her presence known to someone whose line of vision she’s not currently standing in. There’s two chapters of Lucy wishing she could say goodbye to M. Paul, but not actually taking any steps to give herself a chance to say goodbye to M. Paul, and then off he sails for Australia or something, because he’s gotta something. The details surrounding his departure are fuzzy in my mind because:

Mme. Beck tries to drug Lucy, but it doesn’t work and Lucy heads to the park, where everyone in all Villette has assembled for a party that Lucy wasn’t invited to. Wonder why.

Lucy at a party

Also at the party: M. Paul! Not sailed yet after all! Shocking! Lucy sees him, but again, apparently unaware that you can say “Hi! It’s me, Lucy!”, she just keeps quiet and stares at him.

Lucy doing her best to say goodbye to M. Paul

When Lucy gets back from the parade, having absolutely refused to say anything to M. Paul, I swear to God this girl doesn’t have a firm grasp on the function of speech, she finds GHOST NUN sleeping in her bed. I got so excited for a second before I remembered that Charlotte Bronte hates me and would never have an awesome climactic ghost nun scene for me.

It’s just the costume. No ghost nun showdown.

Apparently, Ginevra’s boyfriend — now husband; they eloped! — was the one dressing up as the ghost nun in order to sneak into the school and see Ginevra. That is such a surprising and hilarious plan that I think he’s going to make an awesome husband for Ginevra. I want them to adopt Lucy, and she can live with them and say bitchy stuff to them every time they try to be nice, and they can giggly merrily and call her adorable nicknames from antiquity.

But, that’s not what happens. Instead M. Paul tells Lucy he loves her, and blah blah blah they’re going to get married after he gets back from his three-year voyage and you know what fucking happens?

His ship sinks.

HIS SHIP SINKS.

Charlotte Bronte, I cannot with you. Don’t try and throw me a bullshit bone being all “oh happy minds can imagine a joyous future for us, I’m not going to say any more.” YOU HAVE JUST MADE IT OBVIOUS THAT HIS SHIP SINKS.

Despite my frustration with this ridiculous fucking book, I am delighted Alice hosted the readalong. Thanks, Alice! Reading along was super fun, all the bloggers are great, and the only tiny thing that could have improved is Charlotte Bronte not being such a FUN-KILLING ZERO-FUCKS-GIVING LUNATIC.

I will just leave you with the following exchange:

“Spartan girl! Proud Lucy!” she would say, smiling at me. “Graham says you are the most peculiar, capricious little woman he knows; but yet you are excellent; we both think so.”

“You both think you know not what,” said I. “Have the goodness to make me as little the subject of your mutual talk and thoughts as possible. I have my sort of life apart from yours. . . . Yes, [solitude] is sadness. Life, however; has worse than that. Deeper than melancholy, lies heart-break.”

“Lucy, I wonder if anybody will ever comprehend you altogether.”

Villette was published 160 years ago, and no luck so far.