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MONKALONG! (the end at last)

So it’s the last week of Monkalong, and also the week in which I knew Antonia was going to get raped, because it’s not like we’re getting out of this book without that happening. I admit I dragged my feet on reading this section. I had to really force myself to do it, using the inducement of your wonderful comments and the other marvelous Monkalong posts.

Me.

(Oh, I forgot to tell you, I’m only using Crimson Peak gifs this week, because it’s the greatest movie of our time, yet could not have existed without this garbage fire of a book.)

(It probably could have. Someone else would have written an influential Gothic novel that would have fit into this slot.)

Anyway, this week THE MONK rapes Antonia, and the least said about that the better. Afterward he feels guilty and he thinks maybe he’ll let her live the rest of her life down there in the crypt, and then she sort of talks him into letting her leave, but regrettably, Matilda comes along all like

Is someone attempting to perpetrate mercy in this crypt?

While they’re debating whether to kill Antonia or not, she sensibly takes off running. I can’t remember if she hears Lorenzo’s voice and goes running so he can save her, or if she takes off running first and hears Lorenzo’s voice second. Needless to say, I can’t be bothered going back to check. She runs headlong through the halls of the crypt area, screeching like a banshee (luckily she screams louder than Elvira) and does not stop even when THE MONK stabs her to shut her up.

Okay this gif isn’t that apt BUT I JUST WANTED Y’ALL TO SEE IT.

So Antonia’s dead, Lorenzo’s inconsolable, and THE MONK and Matilda have to go to the Inquisition to be tried for their crimes. Lorenzo takes to his bed in grief (don’t worry, there’s a consolation prize named Victoria awaiting him, or maybe it’s Virginia, I honestly DGAF anymore), and guess who sits with him to console him through this difficult time because she can see that he’s in need of comfort.

NO, GUESS.

If you guessed “Agnes” and then howled “WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY,” then you and I are in total agreement. As a reminder, when we left Agnes, she was in such a zombified, skeletal state that her own nearest kin (Lorenzo) was unable to recognize her. She had been poisoned, starved, and brutalized for weeks while pregnant, and then she had the baby, which died from lack of nourishment, rotted in her arms, and MAGGOTS CRAWLED ON AGNES’S HANDS WHILE SHE SLEPT.

Agnes, the last time we saw her

But she sees that Lorenzo really needs comfort because this girl he barely knew just died. Sure. Yes. Fine.

Oh, and Lewis does explain why nobody recognized Agnes before. It’s because her hair was messed up. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING. And Agnes marries her long-winded boyfriend (may you always be satisfied), and Lorenzo marries his consolation prize (ditto), and Flora gets to go back to Cuba (good for you, Flora!), and we never hear anything about Not-Now Christoval (sigh).

After all this, THERE IS STILL ANOTHER CHAPTER TO READ. The Inquisition tortures Matilda and Ambrosio into confessing, and Ambrosio’s so frightened of being ?further tortured? and burned at the stake that he agrees to sell his soul to Lucifer if Lucifer will set him free of this prison and keep him safe from the Inquisition. In a twist I have to feel Ambrosio should have seen coming if he has read anything about the devil before ever, Lucifer frees him from the prison but then immediately throws him off a cliff, thereby consigning Ambrosio’s soul to eternal hellfire and torment.

THE END.

I hope you have enjoyed my torments as I’ve plowed through what may legitimately be the worst book in all of history. I cannot exactly remember why I hounded Alice into doing this readalong, but anyway it has been a pleasure to share the absurdity/suffering with all you lovely people (readalongers and non-readalongers alike!).