That is mean to Thistle!

Okay, I’m glad to know you didn’t play with the possums with their needle teeth and scaly tails. I asked because there were tons of them where we used to live (farmhouse between two creeks), and when the landlord used to live there, he would catch possums just to look at them because he thought they were cool, and one time he looked after pregnant mother possum who didn’t make it, and he and his girlfriend took the babies around to local kindergartens and would pull them out of their pockets to amaze the kids. *I* thought the possums were ick, and it was sad the way they would keep frantically trying to cross the highway during mating season and there was a possum squish every half mile all the way into town, and freaky when our headlights would catch them in the eyes lumbering across our driveway at night and they wouldn’t even hurry because they were about their evil business and couldn’t be bothered, but because of my former landlord and his former girlfriend I know it is a matter of taste.

I almost asked if you ate them.

I was walking Thistle one day, back when I’d just gotten her and she had that unfortunate hair cut and was a bit scrawny, and this old guy down the street said to me: “Whatcha got there?”
Me: “Oh, this is my dog Thistle.”
Him: “For a second there, I thought you were walking your pet possum.”
Me: “—”

Isn’t that mean?! Poor Thistle. Lately she’s been getting lots of compliments, though. She even has a celebrity dopelganger: several people have said she looks just like Toto. 😉

I’m so sorry you lost your mother. I adore my parents, and I tell them as often as I can how much I love them.

Ew, no! They were making trouble. Also they are really gross and creepy. They look pathetic and even a little cute, but then you get close to them and they bare their scary-teeth and look like vampire possums all of a sudden. So scary! Nobody should ever play with one!

You have to come soon! They are lovely and will like you very much indeed!

Actually he’s way too energetic and busy to retire altogether! He’s starting a new job pretty soon, where he will continue being awesome forever.