Comments on: Review: Talking from 9 to 5, Deborah Tannen

By: Gin Jenny

Gin Jenny — Mon, 14 Oct 2013 13:28:04 +0000

In reply to litlove. I bet you will have fascinating things to say about Deborah Tannen when you do read her book. I love a close reading of literature, and close readings of observed human interactions are even more interesting to me.

By: NWK (@MumsyNancy)

NWK (@MumsyNancy) — Sat, 12 Oct 2013 16:56:59 +0000

In reply to Gin Jenny.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/121805018

My review. It’s called You Were Always Mom’s Favorite, and it felt very thrown-together.

By: litlove

litlove — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 14:55:25 +0000

My sister-in-law has lent me Tannen’s book on mother-daughter conversations and I haven’t read it yet. I can see that I must! I love all that close observational body language/social ritual stuff. Even though I haven’t worked in an office for 20 years and have no intention to returning to one. In fact, that would make the book even more pleasurable!

By: Gin Jenny

Gin Jenny — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 00:51:43 +0000

In reply to NWK (@MumsyNancy). What'd she say about sisters? Did she say middle children are bad? WAR if so.

By: Gin Jenny

Gin Jenny — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 00:51:25 +0000

In reply to Teresa.

Tannen talks a lot about the fact that “male” speaking styles are socially disincentivized for women — that when a woman has a speaking style that’s more stereotypically masculine, the perception of her is very very different to the perception of a man who behaves the same way. Yeah, it’s not great. :/

By: Gin Jenny

Gin Jenny — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 00:49:56 +0000

In reply to Christy. I agree! I am a big disclaimer-user, for all the reasons you say. But I know that I could probably dial it back a little. I disclaim too much.

By: Gin Jenny

Gin Jenny — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 00:49:17 +0000

In reply to Sarah Says Read. Doesn't it? I started doing the cover comparisons because lovely blogger Jill said she thinks that British covers are usually better, and I don't agree. I think it is probably half and half. I am TOTALLY a wash-and-air-dry kind of girl, so I too hope that people are not judging me. I think it depends on the office! My office is quite casual in a lot of ways.

By: NWK (@MumsyNancy)

NWK (@MumsyNancy) — Sun, 06 Oct 2013 23:51:47 +0000

I think I’ve gone off Deborah Tannen a bit. I’m just not finding her persuasive any more – I think it was her book about sisters that soured me.

By: Teresa

Teresa — Sat, 05 Oct 2013 12:42:02 +0000

That point about men adapting to women’s conversational styles is a good one. I work in a predominately female office (and have for most of my career), and it fascinates me that often in these offices the male style still often gets privileged–that is when it’s a man using that style. Sometimes when women start using that more outspken style, the perception of them is … not so good.

By: Christy

Christy — Fri, 04 Oct 2013 14:03:00 +0000

I get why people say that adding a disclaimer before proposing an idea is not a good idea. Depending on what the disclaimer is and how you say it and how often, it can make you seem insecure. However, I don’t think it’s always bad to put a disclaimer before an idea. Why is it bad to acknowledge that you may not know everything, or to use the disclaimer to make the idea more palatable to people who may be resistant if you come off too strong?