Remember last week, when Alice said that Charlotte Bronte was super weird and gave zero fucks about it? I didn’t really see it then, but I am coming around to Alice’s point of view. This is how Lucy Snowe describes waking up from a faint (Dr. John did rescue her, dammit):

I know [my soul] re-entered her prison with pain, with reluctance, with a moan and a long shiver. The divorced mates, Spirit and Substance, were hard to re-unite: they greeted each other, not in an embrace, but a racking sort of struggle. The returning sense of sight came upon me, red, as if it swam in blood; suspended hearing rushed back loud, like thunder; consciousness revived in fear: I sat up appalled, wondering into what region, amongst what strange beings I was waking.

You weirdo, Charlotte Bronte. I am just sad you died so young and did not live to favor us with (I can only imagine) your ever-increasing weirdnesses as you wrote ten more novels before your death at the age of 80.

Anyway, so the big surprise in this section is that Dr. John is actually Graham, remember Graham from before?, and Lucy Snowe knew this all along but just didn’t bother to tell us?

Lucy Snowe you are such a bewilderment to me. Dr. John is accordingly bewildered. But because he is a gentleman (that doesn’t mean I want Lucy to marry him), he doesn’t ask her why the hell she didn’t say “hey bro, we know each other” LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN.

Anyway, he’s very chill about that (but still boring), and they have some chats about whether she is Catholic (God no), how Ginevra is behaving on her travels (unknown, but at a guess, slutty), and if Ginevra will ever return his affections. To the latter Lucy says this:

I declare, where Miss Fanshawe is concerned, you merit no respect; nor have you mine.

Oh, and then she feels bad that his feelings are hurt, so she apologizes, but she does it in the lamest way, which is the way where instead of giving a proper apology and explaining why your behavior was The Worst, you are all like “pleeeeease forgive me, pleeeeease,” which is garbage because then the apology isn’t about them, as it should be, and is instead about you and how sad you will be if they do not forgive you. (Which is lame.)

The whole thing smacks of the kind of behavior one would expect of a woman who wants to get with Dr. John when he finally gets over Ginevra. I am still pulling for M. Paul, but this section is blowing out my candles a little bit.

M. Paul shows up rather briefly to pester Lucy at an art gallery and tell her that as a lady she should have more patience with handicapped children even though, he confesses, she and he both know that handicapped children are the worst (seriously, Charlotte Bronte?) It’s . . . it’s not a great look for him. This has all been fairly discouraging. You should head over to Alice’s blog to see what other people have to say, though just know that if they want Lucy to get with Boring Dr. John, they are WRONG. WRONG.

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